COMMUNICATION
COMMUNICATION
There are many forms of communication other than the spoken word.
I can't help but wonder if guys and gals are like cats and dogs, many things getting lost in translation because of miscommunication. Dogs wag their tails when they are happy and cats wag their tails when they are angry. So the cat is saying one thing but the dog is taking it another way altogether.
In the animal kingdom, nonverbal communication is a way of survival; something that seems to have been lost in the human world. Perhaps with evolution we have lost some of our primal instincts for communicating. No wonder we have a hard time understanding one another!
Both men and women are initially attracted by looks. However both are really attracted by many other factors.
Non verbal communication speaks volumes:
Gestures & mannerisms are a way by which a person or animal communicates with others. Facial expressions, eye behaviour, gestures and posture; tonne of voice, what you are wearing, all express emotional feelings and attitudes that can even contradict the spoken word. Judgments are often made in the first few seconds upon meeting.
A simple smile, eye contact and a firm (not crushing) hand shake can go a long way when first meeting someone.
Clothing:
What you wear can speak volumes. The kind of clothes can send a message about you.
i.e.: Heavy metal t-shirts, ripped jeans, leather and studs may intimidate people, make them unsure of your attitude. You are unapproachable and unpredictable.
Bright clothes that clash may be an attempt to come across confident but people will loose interest, it sends a message of confusion and lack of effort. You come across obnoxious.
Earth tonnes are soothing; blues, greys, brown, black and white are more calming and trusting colours. People then tend to judge you on how you come across rather than how you look.
Grubby clothes and an un kept look gives the impression that you don't care about anything or that you are lazy. Your shoes say a lot as to your financial status as well as attitude.
Trendy natural colours and clothes say that you are current, confident and aware of the world around you.
Clothes that are too plain and buttoned up can portray a lack of approachableness, a lack of wanting to interact.
Clothes that are too revealing say, trashy and easy; sometimes women dress this way in order to attract but it gives the man a lesser opinion of you. Even men make this mistake. You know the ones with too tight jeans, revealing everything and the unbuttoned shirt revealing their chest and gold chains! Dressing with sex appeal is different that dressing for sex!
Smelling good and looking good not only portray confidence but gives you confidence. When you feel good about yourself, others sense it.
Tonne of voice:
Remember reading a story book t
o a child? The expression is our voice changes, more exaggerated, making the story more interesting and holding their attention. In a conversation, expression (not too much) can relay the importance of what you are saying.
The intonation in your voice conveys whether you are serious or joking, angry or sarcastic, even sexual innuendo. Have you tried to hold a conversation with someone who talks in a single tonne? It is depressing and hard to stay interested.
Speaking too loud when you are close is off putting and can seem intimidating and obnoxious. Speaking too soft is annoying and you loose interest.
However doing these things at the right moment can create interest. Loud at the right moment can relay importance. Sometimes women will speak softer in order to draw a man closer.
Eye contact:
Eyes are the window to the soul.
It can be hard to gauge the right amount of eye contact. Staring can make people uncomfortable if you are not engaging in conversation. Too little eye contact may say you are shy or evasive and untrustworthy.
To keep looking to the side indicates that you are dishonest (shifty eyes). To keep looking directly into their eyes can mean you are aggressive and challenging, or it can mean that you are interested depending on the moment and the person. Looking at a person during a conversation for two thirds of the time can show interest. Barely looking shows a lack of interest. Also, making eye contact while conversing and also looking at the rest of their face shows that you like them.
Personal Space:
Respecting personal boundaries (not too close yet not too far) is respecting another persons comfort zone. Reading what is appropriate can be difficult.
Standing too close when someone is not interested can be intimidating and invasive. Standing too far when they are flirting is showing a lack of interest.
i.e.: Open arms and hands is a positive sign. Gestures like turning toward you, moving in closer, can mean attraction.
Crossed arms, turned away, tense body, hands clenched, fidgeting, can mean avoidance, annoyance or lack of interest.
Posture:
Posture is very important, for example, to hold your self straight and upright (not too rigid) shows confidence and a positive attitude. Slouching make you appear shorter than you are and displays a lack of confidence and a lack of interest.
Flirting:
Flirting is a way of initiating contact and showing interest. It can be as simple as a raised eyebrow and a smile; a coy glance (eye contact for a moment, then lowered eyes and a half smile); small touching gestures or moving closer than normal can signify interest. Moistening lips, holding a gaze or smiling when you check him or her out shows interest. Women often toss their hair or playing with jewellery, or stem of glass while conversing. Men often use hands to emphasize or communicate with sarcasm, humour or cocky ness to show interest.
Learning to understand body language will certainly help both sex's to communicate more effectively and perhaps help with survival in the dating arena!
By Beth Laking
There are many forms of communication other than the spoken word.
I can't help but wonder if guys and gals are like cats and dogs, many things getting lost in translation because of miscommunication. Dogs wag their tails when they are happy and cats wag their tails when they are angry. So the cat is saying one thing but the dog is taking it another way altogether.
In the animal kingdom, nonverbal communication is a way of survival; something that seems to have been lost in the human world. Perhaps with evolution we have lost some of our primal instincts for communicating. No wonder we have a hard time understanding one another!
Both men and women are initially attracted by looks. However both are really attracted by many other factors.
Non verbal communication speaks volumes:
Gestures & mannerisms are a way by which a person or animal communicates with others. Facial expressions, eye behaviour, gestures and posture; tonne of voice, what you are wearing, all express emotional feelings and attitudes that can even contradict the spoken word. Judgments are often made in the first few seconds upon meeting.
A simple smile, eye contact and a firm (not crushing) hand shake can go a long way when first meeting someone.
Clothing:
What you wear can speak volumes. The kind of clothes can send a message about you.
i.e.: Heavy metal t-shirts, ripped jeans, leather and studs may intimidate people, make them unsure of your attitude. You are unapproachable and unpredictable.
Bright clothes that clash may be an attempt to come across confident but people will loose interest, it sends a message of confusion and lack of effort. You come across obnoxious.
Earth tonnes are soothing; blues, greys, brown, black and white are more calming and trusting colours. People then tend to judge you on how you come across rather than how you look.
Grubby clothes and an un kept look gives the impression that you don't care about anything or that you are lazy. Your shoes say a lot as to your financial status as well as attitude.
Trendy natural colours and clothes say that you are current, confident and aware of the world around you.
Clothes that are too plain and buttoned up can portray a lack of approachableness, a lack of wanting to interact.
Clothes that are too revealing say, trashy and easy; sometimes women dress this way in order to attract but it gives the man a lesser opinion of you. Even men make this mistake. You know the ones with too tight jeans, revealing everything and the unbuttoned shirt revealing their chest and gold chains! Dressing with sex appeal is different that dressing for sex!
Smelling good and looking good not only portray confidence but gives you confidence. When you feel good about yourself, others sense it.
Tonne of voice:
Remember reading a story book t
The intonation in your voice conveys whether you are serious or joking, angry or sarcastic, even sexual innuendo. Have you tried to hold a conversation with someone who talks in a single tonne? It is depressing and hard to stay interested.
Speaking too loud when you are close is off putting and can seem intimidating and obnoxious. Speaking too soft is annoying and you loose interest.
However doing these things at the right moment can create interest. Loud at the right moment can relay importance. Sometimes women will speak softer in order to draw a man closer.
Eye contact:
Eyes are the window to the soul.
It can be hard to gauge the right amount of eye contact. Staring can make people uncomfortable if you are not engaging in conversation. Too little eye contact may say you are shy or evasive and untrustworthy.
To keep looking to the side indicates that you are dishonest (shifty eyes). To keep looking directly into their eyes can mean you are aggressive and challenging, or it can mean that you are interested depending on the moment and the person. Looking at a person during a conversation for two thirds of the time can show interest. Barely looking shows a lack of interest. Also, making eye contact while conversing and also looking at the rest of their face shows that you like them.
Personal Space:
Respecting personal boundaries (not too close yet not too far) is respecting another persons comfort zone. Reading what is appropriate can be difficult.
Standing too close when someone is not interested can be intimidating and invasive. Standing too far when they are flirting is showing a lack of interest.
i.e.: Open arms and hands is a positive sign. Gestures like turning toward you, moving in closer, can mean attraction.
Crossed arms, turned away, tense body, hands clenched, fidgeting, can mean avoidance, annoyance or lack of interest.
Posture:
Posture is very important, for example, to hold your self straight and upright (not too rigid) shows confidence and a positive attitude. Slouching make you appear shorter than you are and displays a lack of confidence and a lack of interest.
Flirting:
Flirting is a way of initiating contact and showing interest. It can be as simple as a raised eyebrow and a smile; a coy glance (eye contact for a moment, then lowered eyes and a half smile); small touching gestures or moving closer than normal can signify interest. Moistening lips, holding a gaze or smiling when you check him or her out shows interest. Women often toss their hair or playing with jewellery, or stem of glass while conversing. Men often use hands to emphasize or communicate with sarcasm, humour or cocky ness to show interest.
Learning to understand body language will certainly help both sex's to communicate more effectively and perhaps help with survival in the dating arena!
By Beth Laking
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