If you are dealing with a breakup, perhaps one of the most common and boggling questions that might come to mind is whether to stay friends with you ex.

Even if the relationship may not have worked between the two of you romantically, yes ¨C you can still be friends with your ex. However, being friends with your previous flame can be difficult. Some may construe this rather special friendship to be either yet another platonic friendship or a way of holding out towards reconciliation.

No matter how it may be possible for you to still remain friends with your ex, more often than not, it can be pretty difficult. And it may not always apply to everyone. as well. You can only be truly friends with your ex given these conditions. For one, you must be able to give each other enough time to make a transition from being a romantic couple to being just friends.

Another thing is to gain closure first. You and your ex should be certain that you have finally tied loose ends and are completely over why you broke up in the first place. Usually, it is easier for ex-lovers to be friends if the split were amicable and if both parties have really talked about the break-up without hard feelings on either end.

How do you know if you have completely gained closure over a breakup?

If you happen to be the one dumped and/or if the cause of the breakup was bad, you no longer feel the need to try to show your ex how s/he should be sorry for dumping you. And if you may have already found someone, you know that you are not going to use him/her to make your ex pay for causing you pain. If you are the one who happened to do the dumping, you do not look at your ex as if s/he were all lowly and miserable for what you did.

Moreover, it may not be a good idea to be friends with your ex if you are only using him/her to wile your time until you finally meet another one that would make your heart beat again. You may also want to lay off on the friends zone with your ex especially if your current lover or someone you have the hots for is a spitting image of your ex.

Also, part of the breakup aftermath is the urge to go sleuthing on your ex. If you are no longer tempted to fish for juicy details on your past flame, then you can say that you have finally moved on with your life. Lastly, if you see your ex with someone new and are happy for them instead of feeling hurt, ¨C then it's now all systems go towards being friends with your ex.

Unless you are keeping your hopes up for a sweet reconciliation, you should make it clear to your ex that you are in for the friendship because that is all you will ever want the two of to be. This is important especially if either of, or both of you are in a new relationship since your partner might not be comfortable with it.

Being a real friend to your ex is all about accepting the fact that you can be really friends with him/her without emotional attachment and wishing his/her happiness with how s/he is getting on with his/her own life ¨C whether single or with someone new.

If tying loose ends by being friends with your ex is causing you to fall into a rather complicated process, then do not force the situation and instead cut ties off for the time being until you can fully say that you have completely gotten over the breakup and of course, your ex.
If you are completely over your ex, you can now move on towards a brand new start with him/her ¨C but as friends, that is.

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