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How To Make Friends?
I recently read an online article about 'How to Make Friends.'
As helpful as that article might have been to the average, non-outgoing person, I believe that these sort of guides are almost misleading in that they make you project yourself as a try-hard person.
They encourage such behaviour that you would not have even dreamt of doing before. And that is exactly what is wrong with todays society - self-help guides.
People who could actually help you, like a psychiatrist or even your local GP, still get on with their usual jobs, don't get me wrong, but they are the people who will sit and listen to your problems, gain your confidence and get to know the real you so an overall, exact solution can be produced.
When I was in high school, I never really got along with many of the people around me, so I ended up putting myself out there as something I really wasn't - I didn't see anything wrong at the time, I thought it was just a confidence thing. But as of late, I have plucked up the confidence to actually see a professional who deals with this sort of thing on a day-to-day thing. It was then I was told I had something much more serious, with more depth, that wasn't a confidence issue. It was depression.
It
was an unexpected blow, yes. But with regular visits it soon worked out. Also the addition of a boyfriend, an even closer lifeline, also helped. I'm not saying "Go out there and get a boyfriend/girlfriend if you have confidence issues." I would never recommend it - sometimes it makes things a whole lot worse.
What I have discovered is I have two different sets of friends - College friends (the ones who only talk to you in college, never outside) and friends (ones who invite you out and actually text you) I cherish my friends more than college friends. Even though it might seem as though you NEED college friends, you actually don't. These people do not accept you into their social lives - so don't accept them into yours. Friends accept you for who you are, not because you are someone to hang around with in a social environment.
All the above information was learnt from constant visits to a professional who knew what they were doing. Not a self-help guide. Again, incase I am giving a wrong impression, I am not saying "Self-help guides are no good." but I am actually saying don't rely 100% on going home after a hard day of isolating yourself and going online to see what you are doing wrong, but see a professional and see what you are doing right and build on that, then come to self-help when you can work on things that are wrong.
As helpful as that article might have been to the average, non-outgoing person, I believe that these sort of guides are almost misleading in that they make you project yourself as a try-hard person.
They encourage such behaviour that you would not have even dreamt of doing before. And that is exactly what is wrong with todays society - self-help guides.
People who could actually help you, like a psychiatrist or even your local GP, still get on with their usual jobs, don't get me wrong, but they are the people who will sit and listen to your problems, gain your confidence and get to know the real you so an overall, exact solution can be produced.
When I was in high school, I never really got along with many of the people around me, so I ended up putting myself out there as something I really wasn't - I didn't see anything wrong at the time, I thought it was just a confidence thing. But as of late, I have plucked up the confidence to actually see a professional who deals with this sort of thing on a day-to-day thing. It was then I was told I had something much more serious, with more depth, that wasn't a confidence issue. It was depression.
It
What I have discovered is I have two different sets of friends - College friends (the ones who only talk to you in college, never outside) and friends (ones who invite you out and actually text you) I cherish my friends more than college friends. Even though it might seem as though you NEED college friends, you actually don't. These people do not accept you into their social lives - so don't accept them into yours. Friends accept you for who you are, not because you are someone to hang around with in a social environment.
All the above information was learnt from constant visits to a professional who knew what they were doing. Not a self-help guide. Again, incase I am giving a wrong impression, I am not saying "Self-help guides are no good." but I am actually saying don't rely 100% on going home after a hard day of isolating yourself and going online to see what you are doing wrong, but see a professional and see what you are doing right and build on that, then come to self-help when you can work on things that are wrong.
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