Becoming a widow is never without pain, devastation and stress. Along with the emotional distress that comes with the loss of a husband, she now has to face many other grief issues – bouts of depression, financial and legal problems, how to regain her strength and self-esteem, how to continue living dreams that you had once shared with your husband, how to deal with her children’s grief and many more. No matter how difficult it may seem for a widow to pick up the pieces, she can always take on a new journey towards self-recovery. Here are some ways to handle being a widow:

Grieve. Allow yourself to feel it; after all, that is normal and expected of you. Whether you choose to do it alone by yourself or with the presence of your loved ones, do not suppress or keep yourself from expressions of grief – cry, mourn, weep, speak of the pain and loss as much as you want. But do not wallow too much on the pain that you tend to forget that you still have a life to live and that there are still other people who care for you. Let your family and friends give what they can offer you and don’t hesitate to call when you need them. By allowing yourself to fully embrace the pain and grieve over a loss, you can recover faster and heal better.

Bounce back up. Your life may never be the same anymore following the loss of your husband but at the end of the day, you only have yourself to look after. Establish a pace and routine and always take good care of yourself. By picking yourself up, you affirm yourself that life goes on and acknowledge your road towards healing and self-recovery.

Arrange financial affairs. Following your husband’s death, you will now have to make many legal and financial decisions by yourself. Making financial arrangements should be an important priority at this point in your life as a widow. You should notify different financial institutions of your husband’s death without delay such as insurance companies for changing beneficiaries; credit card companies for transferring cards to your name; motor vehicle state department for changing the title of vehicle/s; stockbrokers and/or financial advisor/s to change joint investments and lawyers to update your will, if any. You will also need to secure important documents such as death certificates, insurance policies, social security, employee benefits, veteran’s benefits and will. This way, you can be assured of long-term financial security.

It is also a smart idea to establish a support network that can help you in all your decision-making endeavors. They can be your family members, trusted friends or professionals who can help you at this critical point in your life.

You also need to consider doing financial planning as well. You may want to get additional insurance or invest, simple exercises that can help you achieve a better financial position. Also, make an estimate of your expenses. A common misconception among many widows is that expenses go down when you are but left all on your own. This may not always be true and does not apply to all widows. In fact, expenses may even escalate instead. Some widows even spend a lot to compensate for the loss of their husbands not realizing that they may have already gone overboard. Others expenses also include your children’ education and financial liabilities that your husband may have left off.

Depending on how you look at it, widowhood can teach you to start anew  - to handle grief, survive and cope and beat the odds no matter how devastating and painful it may seem.