Marriage is the biggest step that couples can take the relationship to.  Many young brides and groom are often thrilled about their upcoming marriage, and the joys they expect it to bring.  Four to seven months afterwards, reality sets in and both of them realize marriage is not an easy task.  It takes an enormous amount of patience and effort for two people to make their marriage vows work.  

Here are some guidelines for husbands and wives, to help make the marriage task a bit less daunting, and increase the numerous rewards that are achievable in such a complex yet wonderful relationship:

The right intentions
The very first step to lasting marriages is entering the act with the right intentions.  The couple should commit to marriage with the purest intention of receiving grace and blessings for the love they plan to nurture and grow, and not to simply satisfy the word “commitment”.

Recognize its stages
A good way of creating happy marriages is recognizing that all marriages will evolve over time.  Experience, age, and family will impact the married life considerably over a lifetime.  There will be unavoidable and automatic changes within the married life, and accepting these changes as they come along will enable the both of you to easily adjust for the better and not the worse.

Celebrate differences
Happy marriages mean learning to celebrate both your differences, and not competing with them.  Remember that you are two different genders, and coming together as husband and wife will have great differences to deal with.  When a woman and man unite in marriage, they come from entirely two different families.  Often “opposites” attract, which can mean couples can experience more differences rather than compatibility along the way.  While it’s good to find a “compatible mate”, it’s impossible to find a person without differences, and it’s not a bad thing.

Fit friendship
There can be no doubt that you love your mate, but where does friendship fit in?  Two of the closest relationships in life are “married couples” and “best friends”.  Several married couples think that they can share more things with their friends rather than with their partners.  The important thing that they miss out on is how friendship can be the greatest asset in dealing with marriage struggles that arise.  If a couple learns to appreciate their spouse as a best friend, then they can both negotiate together as best friends in battling marriage problems.

Share the compliments and the blame
This part of building happy marriage entails “personal sacrifice”.  It involves sharing not only the compliments but the blame as well, appropriately and realistically.  In this case, “realistically” means seeing things as how they are, and as “objectively” as possible; on the other hand, appropriately means suitable for the situation.

While compliments and blame may seem contrastingly positive and negative, the idea is both being done in the true attitude of humility.  Each spouse must acknowledge that they both have strengths and weaknesses, and not feel either demeaned or superior.  Complimenting recognizes the good in her/him, while taking the courage to accept personal blame appropriately shows true humility in marriage.

Relive the romance
If there’s one thing every person cannot outgrow, it’s the need for “human companionship” or the wish to find happiness in husband-wife relationship.  Every now and then, relive the romance that set your hearts soaring high in the skies. Remember the overwhelming happy feeling every time you set eyes on each other.  That romance must be cultivated throughout the years.  When you bring yourselves back to how it all started, and nurture the romance in marriage, you’ll surely reap a happier married life.

Building a healthy and happy marriage is not an easy task.  Like anything that involves two people, it’ll take the both of you to make a marriage work. Any one-sided relationship is doom to fail.  Most of all, center your marriage on that one important thing that drew you together. This will remind you the very special reason why you got married in the first place.