You finally meet Mr. Right Guy. And the world is glowing with all its splendor and you are at the top of it. Then he proposes and you, of course, without hesitation, answer: Yes! Comes the wedding, the honeymoon, the new house and all is swell. Life is so good and you envision a partnership full of love and happiness. You ask yourself, how did I get so lucky? But now, you wonder, am I really?
Sounds too familiar? Many marriages start with those starry, starry night romantic settings, the I love you till forever promises, the "I cannot wait to get home to you calls and the sweet moments of loving and caring. But now he hardly talks to you since past 2 years. Married for 27 years, children grown up, one still at home, 2 have finished college, he doesn't look happy anymore. He prefers to eat alone, as he reads the newspapers and then listens to his stereo afterwards. He keeps busy with some do- it- yourself projects and seems oblivious of your presence.
What happened here? You feel hurt and isolated. You ask yourself, why the void, why the loneliness, why the distant treatment? Is there someone else he is seeing? But he comes home everyday straight from work. Maybe I'm getting old fast and now unattractive? That would be very sad, if that be the case. Is love gone? How would you know it's over? Should you stay in agony and allow your husband to torment you with a marriage that is joyless? Would it be less
painful if you leave? You feel numb.
But hey, it takes two to make a marriage last. So, let's make it work. Get an extreme make -over and dazzle him with your new look to bring back the youthful vibrance of long ago. Cook him his favorite food, not the favorite food of the children. Set a romantic place and time for you to re-acquaint with each other. Get him to be interested in you again by telling him you miss him and your good times together. And to make sure he has no medical ailments or depression that could be bothering him, suggest lovingly that he visits his doctor for a complete check up. Bring back the sweet voice you used to have and cultivate again the sweet personality he loved you for, amongst other attributes you have during the courtship period. Plan some exciting activities together that will bring his smiles back. Give him ample time to regain his tender feelings for you.
In a month or two of wait and see, if he remains distant, quiet and indifferent and yet definitely no medical ailment or depression to cause him to behave like this, then it's over. Love is gone and you know it.
So, it's time to make that hardest decision. Your marriage is not worth saving. You must save instead your self- esteem, whatever is left of it. Say goodbye to the man who has stopped loving you and does not appreciate you anymore. Gather all the courage to walk away from him and step out to the world . You will have a great support group out there and they will help you find your way to happiness again.
